Tag Archives: ccbce

Relating to Colplay, Zinzendorf & deer, oh dear.

There I was, standing in a dark room made of brick walls. Hands, empty. Spirit, heavy. With no idea of what to do or where to go, I knew exactly who I cried out to.
“Jesus, I need you.”
Sincerity was met with sweet relief as I waited there, knowing the rest would come.
Okay, maybe this did not literally take place. I think it may have been a dream, or a daydream, perhaps even a vision…Regardless, it felt real and this depiction is basically the past month and a half in a nutshell.
“In her agony of mind she went to Him who had never failed her yet, and He gave her guidance.”
I read those words in a biography of Mary Slessor, pioneer missionary to the West Coast of Africa. The truth and the timeliness of it! To put it in plain language, I had hit a wall of discouragement accompanied by a lack of vision for the next season of life. So there I was, in the fog, crying out to Jesus with great desperation and expectancy. After seeking some wise counsel, I started to test some waters for direction. The result of this was finding where I will not be in this next season. In an unconventional way, this was a step towards somewhere.
Amidst all of this, so many feels have been felt and my tear ducts could not testify to a dry season. I mean really, how do you practically prepare to have your heart ripped out?  You fasten your seat-belt and hold on to the roller coaster of emotion commonly known as life – that’s how.

Oh and yes, I know, “nobody said it was easy. No one ever said it would be this hard.” Thank you, Coldplay.

So, we embrace the season and we press on – feels and all.
As emotional and confusing as these past weeks have been, I must not fail to mention that growing pains bear fruit in perspective, vision and heart.
It is easy to get carried away with thinking complicated thoughts and obscuring ideas in theology, missions and personal calling but really God just desires that my heart be devoted to Him and Him alone.
“I have one passion and that is Him and only Him.”
– Count Zinzendorf of the Moravian church
True theology (by definition) is all about God. The heart of missions is all about God. A pure, personal calling for missions is all about God. It is His love that compels us, it is His love that sustains us. This is why we do what we do. This is why our hearts tremble and grow in size and stature when we look to Him in all of His glory.
Now friends, as I spend these last couple of weeks at the Zichy Kastely in Vajta, Hungary I have some theology credits to finish up and a few bags to pack. From here, I journey back to America into the unknown. I intend on attending the Calvary Chapel Missions Conference (hope to see you there!), meeting with some pastors and missionaries, and reacquainting with dear ones that I have not properly seen in some years.
In a sense, I really do not know what I am stepping towards, but I do know that God promised to never leave me nor forsake me and He has called me to go and make disciples. So that is exactly what I want to do.
Options are way open and very present. I am in a unique place in which I am committed to no one, no place or no thing. So much freedom, so much possibility. I am only committed to what is most important – my heart is stayed on my God; He is my refuge and He has made my feet like the feet of a deer and set me secure on the heights.
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γειά σου Κύπρος, szia Magyarország

You know how ‘they’ say, “TIME FLIES!”?

I have no pun nor rhyme for you. Simply, a fierce agreement with the idiom.

Three months came and passed faster than fast. Getting ready to leave and the actual act of leaving Paphos felt so surreal because of how quickly time had caught up with me.

And boy was it a tearsome event to behold! This time around, saying goodbye was just straight up sad! What I realized is this: there was no fear of the future, no worry of plans going awry. Nothing but an unshakeable feeling that needs no further explanation.

You all have known and felt that which I write of. God does not promise us that we will never be sad, but He does promise love, joy and peace among other things in His son Jesus Christ. Before I carry on with more detail about what has been going on in Paphos, I just want to take this moment to encourage you to give your greatest woe and deepest sorrow over to Him that promises to make beauty from ashes. The God that literally raised a body from the dead can surely meet you in your circumstance.

During these last three months in Paphos, 4 young people gave their hearts to God and accepted His salvation and 3 lovely ladies got baptized in the sea! Meanwhile, many seeds have been sown around the city, amongst the people and in due time they will surely reap harvest. Pray for these individuals that have recently become a part of the family of Christ and those that have yet to surrender to love; the struggle of the spiritual realm is so evident for each person that makes a decision to follow Christ. Never have I seen such a tug-of-war.

Calvary Chapel Paphos is on the brink of something new! A vision and burden from years ago is starting to come together piece by piece.

As hinted at in the title, I am currently back in Hungary! Those of you that know me well may be surprised to know that there is a tentative plan as well:

  • Budapest, Hungary – for a couple more days taking care of some practical things like writing this blog update filling out paperwork and trying to sort out PayPal.
  • Vajta, Hungary – serving at Calvary Chapel Bible College Europe as I touch base with some others there.
  • Kindsbach, Germany – ministering and doing outreach with Calvary Chapel Kaiserslautern by helping out in a cafe they run, meeting with University students, and helping to facilitate a Vacation Bible School.

Time frames are vague still but, Deo volente, this is how the next few months look! As far as a return to Paphos goes, it still looks like a question mark at the moment. In due time we will see how and when a return may play out.

Another development is that I am applying for my Bachelor Degree in Theology at CCBCE! Last time I was there, my credits were totaled and I was shown that there are only a few classes and a thesis to be written before I have everything necessary to graduate. The only setback (which is hardly a setback) is that my name needs to be in the EU collegiate system for 3 years in order to fully qualify. In the mean time I can take whatever classes I need to via the correspondence program and continue being a missionary wherever God leads.

As per usual, here is the link to my Pay Pal account if you feel led to support the ministry that God is doing in and through me around Europe: (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=589WDYYWP7BKW) If you are able to donate a one-time gift or would prefer to donate on a monthly basis, it would truly be appreciated. Also, please keep me and those that I serve with in your prayers! Feel free to write any time.

 

 

Plans & the forming thereof,

A short explanation of where I am and what I am doing would read like so:
limbo (lɪmbəʊ/)
noun
– an uncertain period of awaiting a decision or resolution; an intermediate state or condition.
Alas, I am not in limbo, I am in Hungary. In fact, I am here:
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For those of you that are newer to following my journey, this would be Calvary Chapel Bible College Europe in Vajta, Hungary. Also recognized as the place where I attended my last year of Theology studies and participated in the 13-month internship program. To take it a step further down the lane of sentiment, this is also where I launched out of to head off to Paphos, Cyprus. Let me not fail to mention that this is the same school that I “planned” on attending for one semester. Well, I am back y’all!

The plan is to go back to Paphos, but in the mean time I am so thankful to be able to stay here amongst dear friends to pour into and be poured into. Thankfully, I was an intern not too long ago so I am able to help out in different areas and fulfill different needs whether that be in the coffee shop, dining room or grading homework for the online correspondence program. It was a funny thing coming back, it felt like returning home as I was greeted with open arms (literally and figuratively).

Now, about that plan…

Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed. – Proverbs 15:22
Much counsel surrounds me so I have been seeking out wisdom while here as to how to get back to Paphos and stay for longer than 3 months. Those of you that know me well would know that I am certainly not the girl with a plan. Merely looking at airplane tickets costs makes me nauseous. However, sometimes, especially when your life has taken a turn for the way of the nomads, some framework of a plan is quite necessary. This would be the perfect place for me to fill you in on said framework of a plan. That is, if only I had one. Working on that! Simply put, we are trying to figure out details with visas and residency things.
The burden of love for the people of Paphos continues to weigh heavily upon my heart. There is definitely a certain work that can be done, from any distance. That is the work of prayer. This is where you come in. Pray for the Holy Spirit to continue working and moving and drawing hearts to God, to the blood of Jesus Christ. Pray for those in Paphos that personally know the undefiled love of God, pray that they would walk in the light of that love. Loved ones, pray without ceasing.

While you are praying, if you are one that prays, pray that the Lord would clearly lead me back to Paphos to be a part of the lives of the ones I love there. Pray that my life would be a godly example.

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Αυτο ειναι αγαπητο φιλο μου, Roxie. (This is my dear friend, Roxie.) We study Greek together and hope to be back in Paphos doing ministry. She will be leading the 10-day outreach team from CCBCE to Paphos this semester, so please pray that God would do exceedingly and abundantly in that time and that His hand and favor would be over all of the details in planning.
 
One last thing that I must share with you, loved ones, is that which is so simply biblical and constantly reinforced in this season:
The peace of God transcends ALL understanding.
 
So, this is what walking by faith is. Step by step.
Blessed is the man whose strength is in You,
Whose heart is set on pilgrimage.  Psalm 84:5

Blessed am I, blessed indeed.